Rod Stewart – What’s Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made A Loser Out Of Me)

2nd December 1972 · 1970s, 1972, Music
There’s a personal story behind this one – and it’s an apt one, considering this country ballad’s subject matter about the perils of alcohol.

I bought the single on the same day that I got drunk for the very first time. Roaring, rolling, steaming, blind drunk. Which means, I now realise, that I must have been 14.
 
I was at a Catholic boarding school run by monks in a remote part of North Yorkshire and at weekends we were permitted to leave the prison camp environment so long as we were back in time for dinner, or prayers, or something; I don’t remember. In fact I don’t remember much about this day, but I remember enough to be embarrassed all these years later.
 
I caught a bus to Helmsley, which was the nearest market town, and there I bought a copy of Rod Stewart’s latest single: a double-A-side of Angel and What Made Milwaukee Famous. Then I went to the pub. And another pub. And another. Incredibly, despite being on my own and clearly underage – I cannot flatter myself that I looked older than my 14 years, though I may possibly have been mistaken for a girl – I was served in all of them.
 
After several pints of beer I made a poor decision, one I regret to this day. I ordered myself a Southern Comfort. Let’s just say the mere smell of the stuff is enough to make me retch half a century later.
 
After that things become a bit blurry. I must have staggered off. I remember at one point finding a farm outbuilding and running cold water over my head in an effort to bring me back to my senses, still clutching my precious purchase in one hand. It didn’t work and I realised I needed to be back at school if I were not to find myself in big trouble. So I went to the bus stop.
 
When the bus arrived, I weaved (wove?) my way to the seat at the very back and slumped into it. A nice old lady sitting next to me asked if I was all right and I turned to reply – and threw up on her. At this point the bus driver summoned the police, who came to throw me off the bus, and I explained that I had no choice but to take the bus back to school. Somehow, the policeman found this a good enough reason to let me stay on board.
 
The rest, I’m afraid, is forgotten. But I still have the single. In a slightly stained paper sleeve.
 
* What’s Made Milwaukee Famous (Has Made A Loser Out Of Me) was originally a hit for Jerry Lee Lewis; Rod’s version made it to No.4. The other A-side is a fairly forgettable version of Jimi Hendrix’s song Angel.