Czech singer Marie Rottrová performs Hodina H (Zero Hour) – her 1981 cover version of Stayin’ Alive.

After the recent death of Ozzy Osbourne I chanced upon the fabulous German schlager version of Paranoid by Cindy & Bert, mysteriously retitled Der Hund Von Baskerville.

Don’t worry, the last remaining Bee Gee (Barry) is still with us, and so is John Travolta; last time I checked, anyway. But I can’t wait ’til there’s bad news to post this.

It’s the Czech cover version of Stayin’ Alive by Marie Rottrová – a popular singer from Ostrava dubbed “Lady Soul” in her native country, who went on to become an actress and TV presenter.

In her hands the song is mysteriously retitled Hoddina H (which means “Zero Hour”), and – like the German version of Paranoid – has completely different lyrics. And it’s just as fantastic.

Back in 1981 Czechoslovakia was still under Communist rule but they clearly enjoyed a disco and knew how to disco-dance – especially the girl in the black top.

If you don’t know Czech (and I’m guessing you don’t) you can have added fun by looking up the lyrics and translate them: you’ve got to wonder what drug the translator was on.

Somehow he or she has managed to turn “You can tell by the way I use my walk I’m a woman’s man / No time to talk” into this: “The eyes of my windows are more like twilight, you still no them on Friday / The dawn warms them on the sixth day.”

The chorus (which scans pretty much like the English version) goes: “Saturday’s like honey and I say to myself: ‘It’s the hour H, the hour H’ / The fever is driving me and today we have a bad day, It’s the hour H, the hour H / Ah, ah, ah, ah, the hour H, the hour H.”

Altogether now…