Well this is pure filth. And the last thing you’d expect from a god-fearing gal raised in the church. But there you are: Dinah Washington was one of a kind.
She was the biggest-selling black female artist of the 1950s. She was also the Queen of the Blues – a name she gave herself. Dinah recorded at least two XXX-rated songs in the ‘dirty blues’ genre. One was called Big Long Slidin’ Thing and was about, erm, a trombonist.
This was the other – Long John Blues – and was about… uh… her dentist. Of course it was.
She recorded it in 1948 and the lyrics speak for themselves:
I’ve got a dentist who’s over seven feet tall
Yes, I’ve got a dentist who’s over seven feet tall
Long John they call him, and he answers every call
Well, I went to Long John’s office and told him the pain was killin’
Yes, I went to Long John’s office and told him the pain was killin’
He told me not to worry, that my cavity just needed fillin’
He said, “When I start drillin’, I’ll have to give you novocaine”
He said, “Yes, when I start drillin’, I’ll have to give you novocaine”
Cause ev’ry woman just can’t stand the pain”
He took out his trusted drill and he told me to open wide
He said he wouldn’t hurt me but he’d fill that hole inside
Long John, Long John, you’ve got that golden touch
You thrill me when you drill me, and I need you very much
When he got through, he said “Baby, that will cost you ten”
Yes when he got through, he said “Baby, that will cost you ten
Six months from now, come back and see me again”
Say you’re supposed to see your dentist ’bout twice a year, that’s right
But I think I feel it throbbin’, yes, I’ll go back there tonight
Long John, Long John, don’t ever move away
Say, I hope I keep on achin’ so I can see you every day