My Writing
TThe Apprentice is, I think, the only reality-adjacent TV show I’ve ever watched. I’m a big fan, largely because of the unrelenting idiocy of (some / most of) the contestants.
I know it’s very early in the year, and there are plenty more idiocies to look forward to in 2026, but I have already read what will surely be a contender for Stupidest Phrase to be published in a national newspaper this year.
Trump is given an imaginary “World Peace Prize” by FIFA in advance of this summer’s football World Cup finals. And, like the moron he is, he seems to think it’s real.
TIM COOPER – ANOTHER VIEW
Evening Standard, 16 December 2016
For a long time I’ve thought about starting my own food blog. Trouble is, restaurants wouldn’t like my reviews much because every time I eat out, something goes wrong. Well, not EVERY time – that would be impossible – but as near as dammit, and much more often than is statistically likely.
My 11,000-mile round trip to meet country-soul singer Shelby Lynne began with a disastrous motorcycle journey… and got worse after that.
The brotherhood of I Am Kloot
There’s blood on your legs,” sings the small man with the big guitar. “I love you . . .” Has there ever been a more mysterious, more sinisterly romantic line in popular music than the lyric of Twist by I Am Kloot?
The Arsenal 2023-24 – End-of-Season Report
20th May 2024 · My Writing
I could not be prouder of my football team than I’ve been this season. In 50-odd years of supporting the Arsenal I’ve seen them win five league titles, 10 FA Cups, two League Cups and a European Cup Winners Cup – and I was there on every occasion.
That time I went to a tiny village in Ireland for the Eurovision Song Contest in 1993… and came home before it started.
An apology to my Spurs-supporting friends: